Want Less Stress? Try a New Metaphor

The wildest thing that happened in my personal headlines this week is that my four-year-old and I co-designed a one-of-a-kind hybrid human-monster truck called “Angler-Fishasaurus” just days before I saw the viral angler fish story.

Whether or not you buy into the claims that she was a messenger of some hidden spiritual truth or that her journey from the depth of the sea to the surface is somehow connected to our current political season, it is hard to deny the metaphorical power many have found in this story all over the world.

The desire to see the light of the ocean’s surface, when thought to be a myth after a lifetime of perpetual darkness at least once….. even into her dying breath and to achieve that as she expires. That’s kind of a metaphorical take on human faith and the indomitable will to dream.- Timmy Mellow

Honestly, maybe the anglerfish should be the Still Covider’s Mascot at this point, given how we have also thrived (ok often it’s just been survival, but let’s give credit where its due) in “an environment of darkness and uncertainty, reminding us that true power lies in becoming comfortable with the mysteries and uncertainties of life”!!!

The Anglerfish, dwelling in the mysterious depths of the ocean, symbolizes acceptance, teaching us how to navigate the unknown with grace and understanding. Acceptance does not mean putting up with ill treatment but rather seeing things for how they really are and repositioning our perspectives and boundaries to peacefully exist. Just as the Anglerfish uses its bioluminescent lure to navigate the depths and attract prey, acceptance is active and engaging, guiding us through challenges, while giving up is passive and defeated. This deep-sea creature thrives in an environment of darkness and uncertainty, reminding us that there is more unknown in the universe than what is perceived and that true power lies in becoming comfortable with the mysteries and uncertainties of life. Alan Watts calls this the “wisdom of insecurity.”- Tanya Casteel.

THE POWER OF METAPHOR

The use of metaphor is a well-documented path between the conscious and subconscious mind that can lessen suffering, make new meaning, and help us find renewed agency in troubled times. When you can exchange a metaphor that disempowers you for one that empowers you, it’s akin to winning the lottery. And if you really nail it, it can be inexplicably transformational. Sound cliché? Sound hokey? If so, you probably didn’t consume as much angler fish content as I did, and you likely won’t want to continue reading the rest of this piece, but it can’t hurt, so why not try?

I didn’t set out to create a new metaphor for this season of extreme stress. Instead, I showed up to one of my favorite writing groups today and was compelled to do so through the power of poetry.

In this case, I didn’t have a metaphor for how I was experiencing this current season. It was the contrast of naming and renaming what I want my anxiety to be that I stumbled upon a mildly apocalyptic version of experiencing perpetual air drops of toxic materials into my living space with no shelter in sight. Not empowering in the least.

A gorgeous writing prompt shared in one of my favorite writing workshops today based on the stunning poem by Natalie Diaz, From the Desire Field, inspired a new metaphor for me in the form of a poem. It has already started reshaping the inner contours of how I’m making meaning and gaining a meta-view on my life.

The Invitation

Let me call my anxiety a laboratory,

A place of alchemy,

Where I conduct experiments to discover how to grow soulful remedies from the raw materials of chaos and destruction—

Let me call this laboratory my wounded but wide-awake human heart,

A place of agency,

Where I decide how, when, and what materials to allow inside—

Let me call my wide -awake heart a historian, a documentary,

A place of wisdom,

Where I process new realities through ancient lenses of knowledge and lived experiences that guide me to the next right action of what to discard, what to keep, and what to learn—

Let me call this documentary a compass,

A place of certainty amidst the disorienting shadows of liminality,

Where I use the eternal substances considered refuse by the capitalist machine, the “soft” materials that will never receive a valuation, to instill hope in my heart and the hearts of those I love—

Let me call this compass an invitation,

To a place where we gather to strengthen each other’s resolve, to alchemize our suffering into gifts of human spirit that fuel our souls for whatever may come…

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THE CONTRAST BETWEEN MY METAPHORS

As you can see, I exchanged my disempowering metaphor of being under the constant assault of chaos for a much more empowering one of envisioning myself working in a laboratory as a spiritual scientist. I am still “receiving” the toxic materials, but in my mind, they are part of what I will learn to use with others to survive the experience and alchemize new opportunities. The toxic materials are no longer dropping in front of my face constantly. In my new metaphor, I decide when and how to process them and gather the appropriate tools to protect myself from their impact before bringing them into my lab. (e.g., in the language of pandemic math, I won’t scroll or even read my few trusted sources if my R(recovery factor) is lower than I can manage with the complexity factor I am facing.)

In my new metaphor, I use the “material” as fodder to gain wisdom to strengthen my children and those I love. I discard the materials that rip me out of my sphere of influence (thank you, TherapyJeff) and maintain a schedule for processing them that prioritizes the lives still growing around me and the spirit that needs tending within me. I am intentional about the routines that protect me and my family, and I separate the inner chambers of my life from my work in the lab.

I don’t attempt to hide from the materials, pretend they will go away, or are not toxic. Instead, I exercise all the control and power available to me, primarily by directing my attention to the lab in cautious, strategic ways that don’t damage me or deplete me unnecessarily. In my new metaphor, I refuse the onslaught of the intentionally manufactured chaos and the ongoing attempt to steal my attention.

I am fully aware that this new metaphorical posture of deciding what to consume, how, and when may not be available to me much longer. None of us knows when that day may come, and we are all doing our part in various ways to end the possibility of its arrival. But I do know that I refuse to give up my attention and time (which directly impact my energy) while it is still possible to preserve them.

What’s your metaphor? Are you ready to exchange it? Let me know in the comments OR join my group…

Another Invitation!

If you would like to engage in an informal group chat with me on Signal to discuss things like your own metaphors, your recovery practices, celebrate small wins, manage Pandemic Math, etc., feel free to send me a message on the subscriber chat or email me for the link to “The Liminal Compass”.